Event Stereotypes: The Grumpy Delegate

The Grumpy Delegate is very annoyed that the venue for today’s conference is located very inconveniently in Edinburgh. How ridiculously un-environmentally friendly, as everyone attending the conference must surely be from the south of england? Why couldn’t it have been somewhere far more central like Birmingham? He always likes going to Birmingham, a nice easy 1 hour journey on the train with no changes. Surely everyone would much rather prefer going to Birmingham? Perhaps he will mention it to the staff at the registration desk when he arrives, who will obviously be responsible for making the decision of the location of the conference so that they can make sure it’s moved to Birmingham next time. Oh, and he musn’t forget to tell them about the spelling mistake in the joining instructions they sent out too, which were quite frankly sent far too early at 2 weeks before. Absolutely no use to him whatsoever unless they are sent the day before as everything just gets completely lost in the black hole that is his email inbox.

So not only does he have to trek all the way to Edinburgh, but his train was delayed and he can’t find his blasted joining instructions (he can”t remember what he has done with the email..again) so can’t remember exactly which street the conference venue is on. Why can’t the conference organisers have held it somewhere that he could remember?Another mental note to tell the registration staff that too. So many things to remember!

To add insult to injury, when he finally arrives, the registration staff have left off ‘Dr’ on his name badge! Very promptly asked them to do another one with ‘Dr’ preceding his name. How will everyone know otherwise?

He is most put out by all the ‘click clacking’ of people typing on their laptops in the sessions, apparently ‘taking part’ in the conference. All this ‘twitting’ whatchamecallit nonsense is just a distraction. Why does anyone want to read what other people are twittering on about, on a screen for everyone to see anyway? What a waste of time. Why on earth the organisers are also showing the keynote sessions live on the internet either is beyond him, when everyone interested in the conference is right there in the room? And what on earth is a ‘tag’?

Finally get a coffee break and there are no chocolate biscuits, just those wretched Scottish shortbread things. Don’t even get him started on dessert at lunch, there was no custard for the apple pie, just cream. Ridiculous. Must remember to mention that on the feedback form. Did he get a feedback form in his pack actually? He doesn’t recall seeing one. Online feedback form, so says the chap next to him. Online feedback form? Whaever happened to good old fashioned pen and paper? Getting more ridiculous by the minute.

Rather annoyed that the organisers haven’t scheduled shuttle buses back to the station any earlier than the end of the conference. What is the use in that? He was hoping to slip out early during the final keynote. He is going to have to pay for a cab.Honestly.

As he sits on the train back home, he reflects on the day and doesn’t really think it was a particularly useful day all in all but is very pleased with the free mouse-mat he picked up from one one of the exhibition stalls so makes a note of the next event in his diary and hopes it will be held in Birmingham next time.


One thought on “Event Stereotypes: The Grumpy Delegate

  1. Hilarious! Too bad there’s no filter to reject the grumpy delegate from coming to our events. I always wonder why they show up at all since they don’t get any value from the conference, aside from the free mouse pad. Maybe they enjoy having things to get grumpy about.

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